BASHING THOSE BIRTHDAY BLUES INTO OBLIVION!

some of us have cakes that are just fire hazards   I’ll be honest, I dreaded waking up today. For today is my birthday, the day when many moons ago I burst forth from my mother at 6:35pm. Ain't she the lucky one?!! We’ll not even mention the stitches… Anyway, I found out many years ago that birthdays are always disappointing after the age of ten. Gone are the jelly and ice cream parties of the past, and instead, is a midlife crisis panic at being another year closer to death. Cheery! But also true. And as I laid in my bed this morning, sulking that my age had accumulated overnight, I contemplated where I was in life on this same day five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, and yes, sadly thirty years ago! I reflected on each of these particular years ranging from 2017 right back until 1987, and I asked myself about each situation: what was I doing? Was I successful? And most importantly, was I happy? Here’s the outcome of each year's memory, and because I love a linear timeline, I'll share my thoughts with you: 1987 – only child in a single parent family living in one of a few council houses within a well-to-do, curtain-twitching village of Drighlington where everyone else had two parents, a comfortable lifestyle and ample money to spare. I was shy and poor – but this made me resourceful and independent, and thus I was happy. Look at that little strange looking girlboy! Still, Nanna  loves her little tomboy. And check out the Duncan pub! And how cheap the cig machine was in those days! 1992 – started high school. Still a little shy, and as I looked like a Romanian orphan boy, it meant I had to develop a personality. This has served me well throughout my life, as it means I can interact well with other people. Living in the Duncan Pub in Leeds, did my first ‘taste of refurbishment’: spruced up a particular area of the pub cellar into my own little den with a carpet and furniture. Very happy. 1997 – had joined the air cadets a few years earlier and had developed confidence and mastered my cheeky and biting sense of humour. People say I’m funny! And not just funny looking… ;) Useful skill to have during my start at sixth form. More happy times. Still skint though. Hey ho! 2002 – just finished my English degree and decided to do teacher training at Leeds University. Thankfully, as per sixth form and my first degree, the government kindly subsidised my education with ‘underprivileged background’ grants, for which I am eternally grateful. I’d realised early on as a child that education was the key to a better life, and thus have always studied hard. I’m not particularly intelligent or academic, but shhh, here’s a secret: if you work hard enough, you’ll still achieve success. Still happy! 2007 – Miss Martin the high school English teacher! Finally had some money in my pocket! Took the opportunity a few years earlier to purchase my first property; the flat I lived in for the cheap cheery sum of £25,218. Still own it now, in fact it was a great help because I refinanced it to pull out its massively uplifted equity to fund my property training career. Glad to report I’m still happy at this point! 2012 – Getting older now and contemplating a change of career; teaching is incredibly tiring work and you don’t always get paid fairly. It used to do my nut in that I’d work really hard, get really good grades for my classes and still only got paid the same amount as the lazy useless drama teacher who skived half the year. It wasn’t fair! And October 3rd makes me a Libra, so we’re all about fairness and justice. Felt ok, but a bit fed up.   2017 – Full time professional property investor with a growing portfolio of houses for local tenants. Undertaken lots of property education, and met lots of lovely property people, many of which have been kind enough to help me on my journey. Well on the way to being where I want to be, in terms of success, portfolio, earnings and personal fulfilment. Not there yet, but still very happy, with absolutely no regrets about the major change my life has taken. Happy? I love what I do. If I won the lottery this week, I would still buy scabby houses and do them up! Just faster… Hmm, this blog has taken a totally unexpected turn from what I’d planned! But, we’ll accept our choice that this unknown road has taken, and I’ll share the lessons - Miss Martin style – that I extracted this morning from my reminiscing. I hope they help inspire you in some way. Lesson 1 – just because you’re poor, it doesn’t mean you have to be unhappy. This leads on to my next lesson, which happens to be my new favourite quote: Lesson 2 – If you are born poor, that’s not your fault. But if you die poor, that’s entirely your fault. Lesson 3 – you are not trapped in a situation forever. Education is the key to a better future. Even if you’re not that clever, hard work and sustained effort pays off. Lesson 4 – if you’re feeling fed up – birthday or otherwise – have a think back to where you were 5/10/15/20 years ago. It’s only by looking back that we can see how far we’ve come. Lesson 5 - if something is not making you entirely happy, change it. Why stick to doing something you don’t absolutely love? Why worry what other people will say about your life choices? You choose your choices, and it’s nobody else’s business what they are. Look at my happy little face! Being poor doesn't matter if you're happy and supported, because you can always choose to improve yourself. Hence one of my big whys is to provide families with safe, comfortable housing so that the kids feel secure enough to go on and improve their life situation in future                                         - just like I did. So there we go. And after my sulking, reminiscing, epiphany and gratitude, I got up, dressed up and showed up to my birthday. I took my lovely giver-of-life mummy to the local shopping centre and traipsed her round the shops, as a reward for birthing a legend. (And so modest too!!!) I ate my dinner at my favourite Miller and Carter restaurant, and I thoroughly enjoyed smashing down that top end fillet steak. And I was grateful for everything I am and everything I have, and counted my blessings, even at my grand old age, at how lucky I was to be alive. Because it’s definitely better than the alternative. EVERY DAY ABOVE GROUND’S A GOOD ONE. PS - I'd like to say a big thank you to everyone who sent me birthday wishes. It makes the process of getting older less traumatic to know that people are thinking of you, so thanks for cheering an old lady up!

SUMMER OF DOOM

WARNING! IT'S NOT ALL SUNSHINE AND ROSES...

 

A couple of people have noticed I've not been my usual cheery self of late.

This is because I've had a disastrous few months, in what will now forever be known as THE SUMMER OF DOOM 😩

So many things went wrong, relentlessly, one after the other, that it has had a disastrous knock-on effect on my motivation, productivity and confidence. 😩

 

This last week, spending my time on a networking bonanza with positive people has forced me out of self-pitying misery.

I decided to write a list of everything that has troubled me (plus a few additional personal ones) - and I'm sharing this with you as I found it to be quite therapeutic.

Now I find that instead of worries, I have a list of challenges to tick off, like a to-do list.

Having networked with many lovely people this week, I have regained my mojo, and am ready to progress again.

 

So thank you to everyone who I've interacted with this week 

 - you have all had a hand in cheering me up.

 

 

 

 

How can this glum period be turned into a positive?

That is, how can we reframe things so that we learn some lessons from the Summer of Doom?

 

Here are my Top Tips:

 

How to Cope When Things Go Wrong

1. First of all, there's no point ignoring issues and problems -  I tried that; they don't go away. Because if you do nothing, nothing happens!

2. Make a list your problems in print. The list then becomes your action plan: a tick-list of challenges to complete and overcome, one by one.

3. Don't take it personally. It's not because you're unlucky, deserve bad things, they always happen to you, etc etc. The pity party does not help. Ups and downs happen to everyone, so don't let it get you down. If anything, the bad times make you fully appreciate the good times!

4. Keep your chin up. Time is a great healer. Even the worst days are only 24 hours long, and tomorrow is a fresh start.

5. When things are going really bad for me, I take myself off for a nap. Things are always better after a sleep. (Hence the old term, "let me sleep on it"!)    So take a break, and have a nap. Naps are the future!

6. Stay positive and be grateful. It really helps me every day to recite a list of things I'm grateful for.

Today's gratitude, for instance included: I'm grateful that my body is well and working. I'm grateful that the weather is fair and cheery today. I'm grateful that my mum is feeling much better today. I'm grateful that I am lucky enough to have a roof over my head and food in my cupboards. I'm grateful that my thumb has stopped hurting from bashing it. (You don't appreciate how good and necessary your thumb is until you can't use it for a bit!)

7. Finally, don't ever, ever, ever, ever give up.

As one of my imaginary mentors, Winston Churchill, says: 

 

 

What Would You Tell Your 16 Year Old Self?

 

Today, May 14th is exactly 20 years since my leaving day at high school.

 

But what I have I learnt about life in those twenty years?

 

What would I tell my 16-year-old self?

 

Here's what!
 

- Don't be paranoid and waste time worrying about what other people might think. It does not matter what most people think.

 

- You might look like a Romanian orphan boy, but it's meant you've had to develop a personality, and that's far more attractive long-term.

 

- Don't be so shy and lacking in confidence. People like you because you're a nice person, and funny. And not just funny-looking!

 

- You're not fat and ugly after all, in fact you're actually quite pleasant. In twenty years you'll wish you were as fat as when you first thought you were fat!

 

- Be prepared to do stuff by yourself. It's ok to visit Thailand, Peru and the Cayman Islands on your own, because it's better than never going.

 

- Your choose your life choices, and they are entirely your decision. Don't feel bad about making them, because it's fine to change them if they're not making you happy.

 

- You were right: education is the way to a better life. Keep learning.

 

- Buy more property earlier!

 

- Friendships work because you have to make an effort to make them work. Shout out to the Morley High School Massive, folk I've known over twenty years!

 

What would you tell your 16-year-old self?

 

Have a Word Wi' Yoursen!

 

My name is Kellyann Martin, and I have a problem. I don’t mean two-bottles-of-vodka-before-breakfast type problem, or ultra-extreme-Elvis obsession (debatable?!?) or owt like that - but an issue has arisen in my property journey which is seriously hindering my progress. For several months, every time the topic arises, I skirt around it, get really awkward and embarrassed, go bright red, and change the subject as quickly as possible. Some of you might have noticed this bizarre quirk in my otherwise cheery nature, so it is time to address the issue: I have a real problem talking to other people about money. More specifically, when people tell me they want to invest their money with me - I go into this farcical Benny-Hill type mode where I will do literally anything to distract them from having the awkward conversation about investing their money in my deals. Obviously as a property investor, this is not good, because money is required to buy houses. And unless I can raise finance to purchase houses, then my vision of 50 rental properties in Leeds won’t become reality, and my 50 families won’t be able to get their homes. :( What is even more infuriating is that because I already have a successful property portfolio, I know I can deliver and I know I don’t let people down - and many people have picked up on this and have openly offered me money to invest. But because of this ridiculous mindset block I have regarding money, I have not followed up these investment opportunities by actually having a conversation about financial investment. This is doing myself, my abilities, and my future 50 families a great disservice. :( Throstle Lane The next family house which is currently under refurbishment in preparation for rental. Watch for its progress on Facebook: From Scruffy Slum to Family Home! I am sure many of you also have an issue you would like to overcome – whether it be lack of confidence, procrastination, or knowledge worries. If this is the case, then I suggest you tell yourself the same as I did: Have a word wi’ yoursen! Now that I have actually acknowledged that there is an issue, I am tackling it head on: I am reframing my negative thoughts on money and investing. I have spoken to some of you very lovely, helpful people who have assisted with shifting my mindset. I am stepping out of my comfort zone to address the money beliefs that have resided with me since childhood. In short, I am having to reboot my brain and thought processes about investing. If I can have a word wi’ mysen about sorting out my deep-rooted issues, then I am very sure that it is possible for everyone to do the same with their issues. Pictured: Kellyann Martin - only child, from single parent family, living in rented house on one of only three council streets in affluent village of richer families. Very skint, very poor, often had to do without nice things, but still very cheery. Also pictured: Kellyann Martin BA (Hons), PGCE, GCGI - successful property investor and landlord, with rental portfolio in Leeds providing good quality accommodation for local families. Here’s my top tips for “Having a word wi’ yoursen”, which I hope will help. 1. Acknowledge the issue. If you dance around it for months like I did, bizarrely it doesn’t go away! 2. Work out why your self-limiting beliefs exist. What has caused them? Why do you think that? Write these beliefs down and address them. 3. Reframe your thoughts around negative beliefs. Think in a different perspective about them. For instance, instead of thinking “I am borrowing money off people” the new way to think is “I am giving people a chance to get involved in a great investment opportunity” 4. Research and read up on the topic that is causing distress. It turns out that I am worried about money because of the following: - Before now, I have never in my life had to borrow money - I would hate to get my figures wrong - I am terrified of letting people down – because I never let people down. So now I am undergoing a period of learning all about finance and investment so that the topic feels less unknown and distressing. 5. As I tell my cadets: Prior preparation prevents (piss!) poor performance. Treble check the issues you are worried about before committing to action; in my case, due diligence with the figures. 6. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Relax: 99% of the things you worry about will never happen. But they stop 99% of people from taking action.   The worst that will happen in my case is that people will say no to my deal proposals. But that’s ok. I can get over that. Santa said ‘no’ to an A La Carte Kitchen toy several Christmases in the 1980s (not that I’m bitter or owt!) Why, Santa, why?!! I was always a good girl!! But I know why: it was because my mum couldn't afford it. You don't always get everything you wish for in life. But you always get what you work for. So I'm working hard to make sure my mum is looked after, just like she always looked after me, even when we were poor. And I'm a terrible cook anyway! So although it won’t happen overnight, it is therapeutic to work your way through resolving an issue. This has been difficult for me, and I don’t mind admitting that at times there has been “tears”. Well, I think that’s what they’re called, in Yorkshire we refer to this wet, face-leaking process as “I’ve got someat in me eye!” One of the ways I found helpful to address my issue: a mind map setting out what was troubling me. However, through tears and awkwardness, I must persevere and overcome this self-sabotaging block. I have to. I’m not letting my fifty families down. One of my ideal future families, x 50. Except from Leeds, not Springfield. And actual real people, not just cartoons! Thanks for reading! Hope you are well and working hard towards success. Best wishes, and take care, Kellyann x x x

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