BASHING THOSE BIRTHDAY BLUES INTO OBLIVION!

some of us have cakes that are just fire hazards   I’ll be honest, I dreaded waking up today. For today is my birthday, the day when many moons ago I burst forth from my mother at 6:35pm. Ain't she the lucky one?!! We’ll not even mention the stitches… Anyway, I found out many years ago that birthdays are always disappointing after the age of ten. Gone are the jelly and ice cream parties of the past, and instead, is a midlife crisis panic at being another year closer to death. Cheery! But also true. And as I laid in my bed this morning, sulking that my age had accumulated overnight, I contemplated where I was in life on this same day five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, and yes, sadly thirty years ago! I reflected on each of these particular years ranging from 2017 right back until 1987, and I asked myself about each situation: what was I doing? Was I successful? And most importantly, was I happy? Here’s the outcome of each year's memory, and because I love a linear timeline, I'll share my thoughts with you: 1987 – only child in a single parent family living in one of a few council houses within a well-to-do, curtain-twitching village of Drighlington where everyone else had two parents, a comfortable lifestyle and ample money to spare. I was shy and poor – but this made me resourceful and independent, and thus I was happy. Look at that little strange looking girlboy! Still, Nanna  loves her little tomboy. And check out the Duncan pub! And how cheap the cig machine was in those days! 1992 – started high school. Still a little shy, and as I looked like a Romanian orphan boy, it meant I had to develop a personality. This has served me well throughout my life, as it means I can interact well with other people. Living in the Duncan Pub in Leeds, did my first ‘taste of refurbishment’: spruced up a particular area of the pub cellar into my own little den with a carpet and furniture. Very happy. 1997 – had joined the air cadets a few years earlier and had developed confidence and mastered my cheeky and biting sense of humour. People say I’m funny! And not just funny looking… ;) Useful skill to have during my start at sixth form. More happy times. Still skint though. Hey ho! 2002 – just finished my English degree and decided to do teacher training at Leeds University. Thankfully, as per sixth form and my first degree, the government kindly subsidised my education with ‘underprivileged background’ grants, for which I am eternally grateful. I’d realised early on as a child that education was the key to a better life, and thus have always studied hard. I’m not particularly intelligent or academic, but shhh, here’s a secret: if you work hard enough, you’ll still achieve success. Still happy! 2007 – Miss Martin the high school English teacher! Finally had some money in my pocket! Took the opportunity a few years earlier to purchase my first property; the flat I lived in for the cheap cheery sum of £25,218. Still own it now, in fact it was a great help because I refinanced it to pull out its massively uplifted equity to fund my property training career. Glad to report I’m still happy at this point! 2012 – Getting older now and contemplating a change of career; teaching is incredibly tiring work and you don’t always get paid fairly. It used to do my nut in that I’d work really hard, get really good grades for my classes and still only got paid the same amount as the lazy useless drama teacher who skived half the year. It wasn’t fair! And October 3rd makes me a Libra, so we’re all about fairness and justice. Felt ok, but a bit fed up.   2017 – Full time professional property investor with a growing portfolio of houses for local tenants. Undertaken lots of property education, and met lots of lovely property people, many of which have been kind enough to help me on my journey. Well on the way to being where I want to be, in terms of success, portfolio, earnings and personal fulfilment. Not there yet, but still very happy, with absolutely no regrets about the major change my life has taken. Happy? I love what I do. If I won the lottery this week, I would still buy scabby houses and do them up! Just faster… Hmm, this blog has taken a totally unexpected turn from what I’d planned! But, we’ll accept our choice that this unknown road has taken, and I’ll share the lessons - Miss Martin style – that I extracted this morning from my reminiscing. I hope they help inspire you in some way. Lesson 1 – just because you’re poor, it doesn’t mean you have to be unhappy. This leads on to my next lesson, which happens to be my new favourite quote: Lesson 2 – If you are born poor, that’s not your fault. But if you die poor, that’s entirely your fault. Lesson 3 – you are not trapped in a situation forever. Education is the key to a better future. Even if you’re not that clever, hard work and sustained effort pays off. Lesson 4 – if you’re feeling fed up – birthday or otherwise – have a think back to where you were 5/10/15/20 years ago. It’s only by looking back that we can see how far we’ve come. Lesson 5 - if something is not making you entirely happy, change it. Why stick to doing something you don’t absolutely love? Why worry what other people will say about your life choices? You choose your choices, and it’s nobody else’s business what they are. Look at my happy little face! Being poor doesn't matter if you're happy and supported, because you can always choose to improve yourself. Hence one of my big whys is to provide families with safe, comfortable housing so that the kids feel secure enough to go on and improve their life situation in future                                         - just like I did. So there we go. And after my sulking, reminiscing, epiphany and gratitude, I got up, dressed up and showed up to my birthday. I took my lovely giver-of-life mummy to the local shopping centre and traipsed her round the shops, as a reward for birthing a legend. (And so modest too!!!) I ate my dinner at my favourite Miller and Carter restaurant, and I thoroughly enjoyed smashing down that top end fillet steak. And I was grateful for everything I am and everything I have, and counted my blessings, even at my grand old age, at how lucky I was to be alive. Because it’s definitely better than the alternative. EVERY DAY ABOVE GROUND’S A GOOD ONE. PS - I'd like to say a big thank you to everyone who sent me birthday wishes. It makes the process of getting older less traumatic to know that people are thinking of you, so thanks for cheering an old lady up!

SUMMER OF DOOM

WARNING! IT'S NOT ALL SUNSHINE AND ROSES...

 

A couple of people have noticed I've not been my usual cheery self of late.

This is because I've had a disastrous few months, in what will now forever be known as THE SUMMER OF DOOM 😩

So many things went wrong, relentlessly, one after the other, that it has had a disastrous knock-on effect on my motivation, productivity and confidence. 😩

 

This last week, spending my time on a networking bonanza with positive people has forced me out of self-pitying misery.

I decided to write a list of everything that has troubled me (plus a few additional personal ones) - and I'm sharing this with you as I found it to be quite therapeutic.

Now I find that instead of worries, I have a list of challenges to tick off, like a to-do list.

Having networked with many lovely people this week, I have regained my mojo, and am ready to progress again.

 

So thank you to everyone who I've interacted with this week 

 - you have all had a hand in cheering me up.

 

 

 

 

How can this glum period be turned into a positive?

That is, how can we reframe things so that we learn some lessons from the Summer of Doom?

 

Here are my Top Tips:

 

How to Cope When Things Go Wrong

1. First of all, there's no point ignoring issues and problems -  I tried that; they don't go away. Because if you do nothing, nothing happens!

2. Make a list your problems in print. The list then becomes your action plan: a tick-list of challenges to complete and overcome, one by one.

3. Don't take it personally. It's not because you're unlucky, deserve bad things, they always happen to you, etc etc. The pity party does not help. Ups and downs happen to everyone, so don't let it get you down. If anything, the bad times make you fully appreciate the good times!

4. Keep your chin up. Time is a great healer. Even the worst days are only 24 hours long, and tomorrow is a fresh start.

5. When things are going really bad for me, I take myself off for a nap. Things are always better after a sleep. (Hence the old term, "let me sleep on it"!)    So take a break, and have a nap. Naps are the future!

6. Stay positive and be grateful. It really helps me every day to recite a list of things I'm grateful for.

Today's gratitude, for instance included: I'm grateful that my body is well and working. I'm grateful that the weather is fair and cheery today. I'm grateful that my mum is feeling much better today. I'm grateful that I am lucky enough to have a roof over my head and food in my cupboards. I'm grateful that my thumb has stopped hurting from bashing it. (You don't appreciate how good and necessary your thumb is until you can't use it for a bit!)

7. Finally, don't ever, ever, ever, ever give up.

As one of my imaginary mentors, Winston Churchill, says: