When Overwhelm Gets Overwhelming

Ever bitten off more than you can chew? This week, that is exactly how I felt. Yesterday I finally got the keys to house I had purchased, and on remembrance and reflection of the work it needs, it can only be described as a bombsite. I think, in the future, once it’s done, it’ll be good, a lovely family home for rental. But that is then, and this is now. And as I stood in this bombsite house which requires immense rectification, realising the enormity of the task before me, I knew I had bitten off more than I could chew.

So I will freely admit I felt overwhelmed. I have refurbished houses before, even a large vastly-outdated one, and a scruffy repossession. But this one surpasses anything I’ve done before, as it is by far the worst house I’ve had. However, the condition of the house was nothing compared to the continuous overwhelming thought I had: “My mum’s going to do her nut when she sees the state of this” :( :( :(   Today I took my beloved mother to see this house. Many of you will know that because I’m not yet financially free, I'm thus not yet lucky enough to be able to throw money at property companies to fix housey-remedial issues. As such, for the moment, a lot of the refurbishment works come from my own fair hands. Or more accurately, my mummy’s - what with me being pretty pathetic at manual labour, as well as accident-prone, and to be blunt, uselessly gormless. So knowing that poor mummy will be involved in this wreck, I dreaded her crossing the threshold. Normally on viewings when the houses are terrible, she is very vocal in telling me how terrible they are. Today, even she was overwhelmed into silence. I suspect had she been with me when viewing this one, her comments would undoubtedly have been the usual: “Don’t bloody get this one, it’s a right tip, I’m not doing this one, look at the state of that kitchen, clatty cow, and it stinks of cat piss...etc etc”. But today she realised it was too late: I’ve bought it, and we are committed to this house. And her stunned silence made me think: bloody hell, what have I done?? And then I told her we had a ridiculously low budget because the solicitors’ completion bill had been horrific - and that we had to turn it around in twelve weeks. She gave me a look that made me think I was getting murdered right there and then. It was horrendously overwhelming. A fleeting thought occurred; that maybe we weren’t up to it. Maybe I had taken too much on. Maybe I’m not ready for such a big project. Maybe I’m just not cut out to do this. But it’s tough sh!t now. The decision’s been made: there’s only one way, and it’s forward. And as we stood there, in this absolute bombsite, two resilient Leeds lasses, with hard lives behind us, we realised we would have to toughen up and “gerronwi’it” – just like we always have. :) So I came home, and decided to write this blog to rationalise, self-soothe, concoct a cunning plan - and have a word with mysen. And if it helps someone else in property who is also feeling overwhelmed, then that is a bonus. :) Thus…   Overcoming Overwhelm: Kellyann’s Top Tips: Remember that a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. So take a deep breath, and move forward. We will get there in the end, but we must keep moving. Standing still is stagnation. And failure is not an option! Next: how do you eat an elephant? Break it into chunks! Assess the works needed in each room. List them down. Work out the order each item must be done in. Use this refurbishment planner to help: https://www.homebuilding.co.uk/renovation-your-step-by-step-planner/   Collate your contractors. Use the superb professionals you’ve used before, or had recommended locally. Get them telephoned and booked in to visit the site for quotes. These websites will help you locate a good quality workforce: http://www.checkatrade.com/ https://www.ratedpeople.com https://www.mybuilder.com   Become the professional you need to be in order to succeed. I will need to evolve to become a top project manager extraordinaire. What a chance to learn new skills! Be like Winston Churchill: despite suffering depression, he once said “I am an optimist. It does not seem much use being anything else.” So think of the positives. For instance: the house is roomy, dry, secure, clean(ish), with a massive garden, and will be a superb rental - and will provide another family with a long term home. :) Finally, give yourself a talking to. Pull your big girl pants up, dry your eyes and get on with it. Nothing is impossible, but if you do nothing, nothing will happen. It’s said that the distance between your dream and reality is called your action. My little imaginary rental family can’t move in until I’ve made it safe and habitable for them. So best get cracking! Remember, if being in property was that easy, everyone would do it. But there is no competition, because nobody else is you. And we’re going to make this work. So you can bugger off Overwhelm; there’s no room for you in the works schedule! Because, in terms of progress and success: what’s the point in coming this far to only come this far?! Good luck everyone! Take care, and my very best wishes, Kellyann x x x

THE BUCKET LIST – which will run out first, your time or goals?

Earlier this week I nearly died.

 

A buffoon in a HGV decided to do a sudden U-turn on the A1 motorway, immediately blocking both lanes. This caused me to brake harshly at 70mph, before I had to then swerve onto the grass verge so I didn’t go into the back of his lorry. Thankfully, my guardian angel looked after me and I’m alright, because it definitely wasn’t my awesome driving skills that saved the day!
 

But having since reflected on my brush with death, it got me thinking:
 

If I were to die today, would I be content that I had achieved all that I wanted?

I have for many years kept a ‘bucket list’ of things to do – and then done them.

Some of the highlights I have so far crossed off my to-do list include:

• floating in the Dead Sea in Israel
• giving flowers to the Queen
• teaching schoolkids in Thailand
• a train trip across Canada
• visits to Niagara Falls
• various road trips across America seeing sights like the Hoover Dam, the Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore, Graceland, and meeting Elvis in Las Vegas (What do you mean it wasn’t the real Elvis?!)

The best photograph I've ever managed to take of the Queen; Golden Jubilee Tour to Leeds 2002.
Look how happy she is to meet me!
And she's holding the flowers I got her from Leeds Market! :)



Teaching Thai children some proper Yorkshire!

A touch soggy at Niagara Falls, Canada
 

Stalking Elvis Presley at Graceland, Memphis, Tennessee

 

In 2015 I took it a step further and set myself 12 Monthly Challenges. I even mouthed off on Facebook to everybody about my Monthly Challenges, which had the added bonus of getting others involved in some of them, such as the 5km Race for Life. 

5km Race for Life, my first ever proper run!

 

Now because I had told everyone of my plans, I had made myself accountable, and there was no way I was not going to succeed and make myself look, as we say oop norf: “all mouth and no trousers”!! So I completed every challenge, and enjoyed myself immensely.

Bah, it's chopped December's off! Which was 'Master the Poi'...

But what do you when you have achieved every target you set yourself? You set more targets! There’s a never ending list of good things still to do! Current items awaiting completion are visits to Florence and Iceland (the country, not the freezer shop!)

Next week, I shall be on my way to cross off another item, and I am terrified about it.

Since booking my trip to see Machu Picchu I have heard terrible things about robberies in Peru, forced drug mules, kidnappings, murders, and a whole host of other things that a soft lass travelling on her own wouldn’t wish to encounter.

I am very worried about the possibilities of disaster. But should you wait until ‘the right time’ to do something? You might never do it. So although I am quite scared about possible consequences, I shall be brave: I’ll feel the fear and do it anyway.

#Never let fear stand in the way of your dreams #

So going back to my original question: if I were to die suddenly, would I be content that I had achieved all I wanted?

My honest answer is yes. I could die right now and not regret the things I haven’t yet done because I’ve ticked off lots of things already.

Could you say the same?

If not, get your bucket list written, and start ticking things off!

Now obviously, I don’t plan to die anytime soon (the guardian angel’s shaking her head in her hands again!), but you just never know when your time is up. So get planning for what you still have time left to achieve. I would love to hear the top items on your bucket list – assuming I’m back in Britannia to annoy you next month, that is!

However, if all goes badly wrong in Peru, at least I’ll end my time by ticking off another challenge.

After all, we’re here for a good time, not a long time...

 

 

Stuck for ideas? Here's some inspiration: 

The Bucket List website

Thanks for stopping by!

If you like to know more, please visit www.kellyannmartin.co.uk

 

 

 

You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby!

Hello you lovely people, and thank you once again for reading my blog!

Today I’d like to address the rollercoaster ride of building a business; the frustration and tediousness of “the journey” we’re all experiencing.

We all hear everybody's positive stories in life and business, and I think it’s great to hear them and celebrate their successes along with them. 

However, I am baffled by why hardly anybody ever talks about the downsides and negative issues of business development, which is bizarre, because they happen to everyone. 

Yet nobody wants to share the disastrous moments, or talk about how they got it wrong, for fear or making us look bad or a failure.

However, I believe we should share our issues, as it comforts other people by showing that we’re all in the same boat here, with a couple of evil waves, and guess what: mistakes help us navigate to the good times and sunnier shores!

So in this blog, I’d really like to help you focus on overcoming adversity, frustration and impatience.

While working hard trying to head towards achieving our targets and goals, I have become aware that things don't always go to plan! This is very frustrating, as when you spend a lot of your time and energy (and money!) actually putting things into place to make them happen, it can be infuriating when your goals remain out of reach.

Why is this? For all of you Smith's fans out there, I refer to one of their finest yet lesser known pieces of work, the song in which Morrissey claims "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby" 

If you've not heard this particular song, you’ll enjoy listening to Johnny Marr’s jangling guitar and Morrissey's oscillating catchy melody. In fact it's such a good song that I will treat you to the link later on. And why? “I'll tell you why-y-y-y-y….”

I'll let you into a little secret, when I feel horrendously miserable and desperately need to cheer myself up, I listen to this superb song from 1987 as (surprisingly for a Smiths’ song!) it always has the effect of lifting my mood. 

In fact, if you feel just like Morrissey, who quotes:

"If you’re wondering why, when all I wanted from life was to be famous, I've have tried for so long it's all gone wrong…"

Then let's address that.

Everyone has bad days - even the poor guy I saw this morning whose top-of-the-range Audi had broken down in the middle of the motorway.

My friends chuckle about my mentality, because they say I am a very black-and-white, no-nonsense person. There is no in-between for me. There is no grey area. Things either go really well for me, or else the world is falling in. Or as Morrissey tells me: “You must suffer and cry for a longer time”

Many times in recent weeks I have felt like banging my head against the wall, simply because things haven't gone my way. Many times I have wanted to cry, but we don't do such things where I’m from, because if you do, your mum says "Stop crying or I’ll gi’ ye someat to cry about!"

So we just toughen up, pull up our big girl pants and get on with it. 

Why have all these disasters not made me just give up and walk away with my tail between my legs? Quite simply, persistence and pure stubbornness – I'm too stubborn to let this beat me! 

When you're going through hell, just keep going. Winners never quit, because quitters never win.

One thing that has helped though is the system of writing down reasons why you are doing this. I have written down a list of “50 reasons stating why I will make this succeed”. This might be reasons such as “So I don’t have to work for my boss”, or “So I have more time to spend with my family” or “So I can afford to take my mum on a nice trip”, or “So I can finally enjoy my success and be proud of my achievements”. And so on…

Everybody talks about the big why but when you have sat down and thought about lots and lots of little whys, then it becomes clear to you that you really don't need to sweat the small stuff.

In two years’ time, when all has gone well, no doubt I will look back and laugh at the time when things went wrong.

Another tactic I use to help when things go wrong is allowing myself five minutes to have a little tantrum and get all my frustration out. I ranted and raved about how someone I had contracted had turned out to  incompetent, and after several minutes of venting, my mother nodded and smirked and said “Have you quite finished now?!”

And I had

The final way I have of coping with catastrophes is my little phrase that “Things are always better after a sleep”. So if you are really so frustrated, take yourself off for a little nap, and magically on awakening, things are not as bad as they first seemed.

Alongside that, I enjoyed reading ‘The Compound Effect’ book by Darren Hardy. Just because you're working hard now and not seeing results, it doesn't mean they won't materialise in the near future. Keep going – you just haven't earned it yet baby!

Even the worst day is only 24 hours, so tomorrow is a fresh start.

So to summarise:

Top Tips for overcoming frustration, impatience and adversity

1. Listen to the song "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby" 

2. Fill-in your list of 50 reasons why you must succeed

3. Vent when things go wrong. A problem shared, and all that!

4. Things are always better after a sleep

5. Read ‘The Compound Effect’ All good things come to those who wait…and work hard continuously!

Click here to buy 'The Compound Effect'

#BONUS# Have a think about everything that has gone right in your journey so far. See, well done, you’re doing better than the other 95% of the population!

Only losers quit, and we are destined to be winners if we don't give up.

Click here to listen to 'You Just Haven't Earned it Yet, Baby' by the Smiths!

How To Beat the Sunday Night Blues!

How to Beat the Sunday Night Blues!

Millions of us spend a large portion of our Sundays dreading the next day at work.

 

Here are some top tips for overcoming those Sunday night blues!

I am sure many of us have felt that gloom creeping in, as we realize our weekend is nearly at an end – tomorrow, it is back to the grindstone; the misery of the Rat Race, or as most of us call it: WORK.

Sunday night blues have always been common in the nation’s workforce - so common in fact that the attribute has its own name!

'Dimanchophobia', also known as Sunday Fear Syndrome, can be a major cause of starting a downward spiral to your week.

Luckily for you, I've got some top tips to ensure that doesn’t happen!

ü  Prepare for your Monday on the Friday.

Before leaving work, clear your desk of all clutter and paperwork. A tidy desk is a tidy mind, so keep them both clear of intrusions. Get your work clothes washed and ironed well before Sunday evening, pack your briefcase, shop for your packed lunches, and if you like, treat yourself to a little chocolate goodie, just to reward yourself for your newfound Motivated Monday Mentality!

ü  Stay back from the booze!

Your job will only be made more difficult with a raging hangover! Alcohol is a depressant, and thus will only depress the feeling of misery for a short time. Better to stay refreshed and alert for the Monday morning!

ü  Make a list.

We often worry that we’ve too much to do or will forget things. Get around this by dumping all of your thoughts and tasks on a to-do list, which you can then split into manageable chunks for the next day

ü  Swap your career…?!?

If you really detest your job that much, have you considered changing it? Perhaps even a change of department or company will do you the world of good. As they say, a change is as good as a rest! And life it short, so you might as well spend it doing something you actually like!

ü  Monday Mindset Mastery.

I always say, if you can’t change something, change the way you think about it. Use your time productively, especially during your commute to work, when you could read self-help books, listen to development and coaching audiobooks and podcasts. Develop and recite mantras, such as the following: “I am too stubborn to let Monday take me down!”

And finally, smile at your work colleagues: it brightens their moods and thus the entire work atmosphere. This will ensure you are not a Mister Misery!

 

So there you go, five tip tops to give Dimanchophobia the "Au Revoir!"

 

After all, life’s too short to dread every seventh day!

 

 

 

Thanks for visiting!

If I can help you with anything, please get in touch at

www.kellyannmartin.co.uk